Chili Chaser Gifts

'How about some beef stew? -- the wusses from the Health Department made us discontinue the chili.'

'I used to have a regular restaurant, but it kept burning down.'

Overjumpers

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

"Smaller, more powerful chips allow me to have a smaller head."

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

The Running of the Brie

Letter writing lady.

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

'Must you have chips with everything Sir Francis.'

Ornithologist

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

Tango

"Ah! I see you've found a cold beer to your liking, sir."

Things were going extremely well until last night's chilli reared its ugly head.

'They are poached eggs, sir -- we grabbed them when the chicken wasn't looking!'

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

Sandwich snob.

"Running of the the chickens!? This is crazy! Dad, no one celebrates Hispanic Heritage Month like this!"

"I guess it's an OK job. Minimum wage plus all you can eat. I tried to quit once but couldn't get out the door."

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

"But before you even think about going under the knife, I'd like to recommend a good pluck and cook man."

'Do you sell eggs? . . . I forgot to say that I have middle class guilt. . .'

A therapist reads to his patient from a joke book.

'Why don't we slip into something a little more comfortable...like the leisure section.'

"Of course, you try to raise your kids so they won't need lawyers."

"We'd like to get away from it all in something that can take it all with us."

Candy Shop and Al's Gym:'We have heart-shaped candies' - 'We fix pear-shaped bodies'.

Becky Thornmorton: The most popular girl at Central High's annual Easter egg hunt.

'He's not hurt. He's just really, really cold.'

'Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?'

Box of Tissues

'Our Dr. Brooks is developing a chicken that not only lays larger eggs, but toast and hash browns to go with them.'

Born to be Wild