Chili Chaser T-Shirts

'How about some beef stew? -- the wusses from the Health Department made us discontinue the chili.'

'I used to have a regular restaurant, but it kept burning down.'

Overjumpers

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

"Smaller, more powerful chips allow me to have a smaller head."

The Running of the Brie

'Must you have chips with everything Sir Francis.'

Letter writing lady.

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

Tango

Ornithologist

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

Things were going extremely well until last night's chilli reared its ugly head.

"Ah! I see you've found a cold beer to your liking, sir."

'They are poached eggs, sir -- we grabbed them when the chicken wasn't looking!'

"Running of the the chickens!? This is crazy! Dad, no one celebrates Hispanic Heritage Month like this!"

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

Sandwich snob.

"I guess it's an OK job. Minimum wage plus all you can eat. I tried to quit once but couldn't get out the door."

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

"But before you even think about going under the knife, I'd like to recommend a good pluck and cook man."

'Do you sell eggs? . . . I forgot to say that I have middle class guilt. . .'

'Why don't we slip into something a little more comfortable...like the leisure section.'

A therapist reads to his patient from a joke book.

"Of course, you try to raise your kids so they won't need lawyers."

"We'd like to get away from it all in something that can take it all with us."

Candy Shop and Al's Gym:'We have heart-shaped candies' - 'We fix pear-shaped bodies'.

'He's not hurt. He's just really, really cold.'

"You get your money back if your don't get laid in seven days."

'Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?'

The scourge of the 'burbs, cable pirates board another innocent hom in their unceasing search for that one extra channel, the occasional first-run movie, or the highly-prized pay-per-view sports events..

this place got five stars for its fresh food

Box of Tissues

Born to be Wild