Children Safety Pillows

"I asked my Mom to drive me to school because the bus doesn't have airbags"

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

Man using to much bug spray

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

On the brink.

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"I've had it with the helmet mandates."

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

'Mind how you cross the ocean.'