Children's Entertainment Gifts

Face Painting Five Bucks

"Looks like we may have strayed into Disney airspace."

"Can we go see 'Home Alone 2'? My friend Jeffrey says it's an important picture."

"Cool. Fish in HD."

"So, after years of misogyny, the croc and courts finally saw to my sausage!"

"If you don't suffer fools gladly, why are you in the business?"

"And did you pack this bag yourself, sir?"

'Animal magic.'

Balloon

Punch and Judaism are those sausages, pork?, pork schmork already!

Children's Parties

'U-S-A! U-S-A!'

'I don't care if each one takes two and a half hours - if you care about your art, you don't compromise.'

'I know it's silly but I think our son enjys your company a lot more than he does mine.'

"That'll be five bucks."

Attention all parents of small toddlers

Bouncy Castle. Hey, you kids, get out of my house!

Clown walks balloon dog

"So, you think clowns are stupid? How about pediatricians, … Do you think they're stupid too?"

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

They hated me.

Showbiz Awards

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

Benedict Cumberbatch

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

The Rooster Comedian.