Children Getting Married Gifts

'Your life will being when all of your kids are married and the dog dies.'

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

City Zoo: Day Care

I like the Jets...I guess

Wildlife

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

Santa Claus's Mail

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

No caption (A young bald eagle plays a claw game full of fish as his parent stands behind him).

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

"And this is our media room."

"Look, a bug!"

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Updated Nursery Rhyme #27.

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

SALE

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

'He made an excellent jelly.'

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"