Childproofing A New Home T-Shirts

Interior design trends for parents....

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

A young Don King

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Sitting Up'

"He says he wants to see the actual brick he donated."

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

"WOW...this 50.1 theatre sound system makes you feel you're actually in the movie!"

What can I play?

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

'Some action figures! - They just STAND there!'

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

How to Build a Bungalow

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

"'Happily ever after' you want? Then you keep the house kosher!"

Beware of teething baby.

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

'Hello, security.'

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

'All the money we saved buying bulk food on sale we blew on this huge freezer!'

'Do you have anything that gets rid of unwanted salesmen?'

Will build to suit myself.

'Well those stair gates were a complete waste of money'

'Triple your money back! 100% effective against pesticide resistant insects! Guaranteed!

'Use it as an end table or, if you want, fold it out to be a fully functional anti-aircraft gun.'

"They're only dummy home security signs, but I've sharped the edges so they'll cut you like a razor."

While you were out

"Oh, for heaven's sake. Use the spray!"