Childhood Visionaries Gifts

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

A boy acting suspiciously

"You're welcome."

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

"You give the tooth fairy your teeth, and she gives you some money. It's called reverse mortgage."

'Oh for heaven's sake, Jim... all he wants to do is perform a vasectomy on you.'

'Like us, the Hula Hoop will never go out of style.'

"This gives me the inner fulfillment I could never achieve through dodgeball."

Let the #&(%?;! pigeon drive the bus

'Help me, sir... I want to save my last sip of lemonade, but it doesn't work!'

"He's really excited about this new proposal to let staff take over services."

Little Van Helsing was dissapointed that, again, there was no monster under the bed or in the closet.

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

'When a doctor looks in your ear with that pointy thing- what's he looking for...?'

"Debit card, no problem. Any cash back?"

Gone for Broke College

Poems to Spookify

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

A pop-up book author suffering from Folder's Block.

'I-need-bifocal-itis.'

'I'm thinking about running for president. Not this term but as soon as I'm allowed to cross the street by myself.'

"Could it be nature's way of limiting human occupation and destruction of life of Earth, Daddy?"

'You're the mother and those are your children? -- I'd like to see a DNA test.'

Life's game plan for pre-schoolers.

'Is there a Nobel Prize for viewing?'

'I was let down by the old bouncy castle.'

'You can come in and play, but you have to make sure you use your indoor voice.'

"Mum, I've made a poodle-cat."

'I'd like to come out and play but I can't find a sitter.'

'Sweet!' Boy sees a bin marked imaginary friends.

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Goes Through the Mirror.