Childhood Visionaries Pillows

The people making the Vasimr engine ripped off my idea. What? How? When I was a kid, I had the idea of getting to Mars in just 40 days. The Vasimr engine uses radio waves to ionize and heat propellant to do just that. That's pretty impressive. How'd you know that radio waves could ionize and heat propellant when you were just a kid? Not that part. Just the "40 days" part. Less impressive.

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

A boy acting suspiciously

"You're welcome."

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

"You give the tooth fairy your teeth, and she gives you some money. It's called reverse mortgage."

'Oh for heaven's sake, Jim... all he wants to do is perform a vasectomy on you.'

"He's really excited about this new proposal to let staff take over services."

Let the #&(%?;! pigeon drive the bus

'Like us, the Hula Hoop will never go out of style.'

"This gives me the inner fulfillment I could never achieve through dodgeball."

'Help me, sir... I want to save my last sip of lemonade, but it doesn't work!'

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

Little Van Helsing was dissapointed that, again, there was no monster under the bed or in the closet.

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

Poems to Spookify

'When a doctor looks in your ear with that pointy thing- what's he looking for...?'

"Debit card, no problem. Any cash back?"

Gone for Broke College

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

'I-need-bifocal-itis.'

A pop-up book author suffering from Folder's Block.

Life's game plan for pre-schoolers.

Nesting Camp, Pecking Camp, Cock-a-D00dle-Doo Camp … Whatever happened to growing up free-range?

'You're the mother and those are your children? -- I'd like to see a DNA test.'

"Could it be nature's way of limiting human occupation and destruction of life of Earth, Daddy?"

'I'm thinking about running for president. Not this term but as soon as I'm allowed to cross the street by myself.'

'Sweet!' Boy sees a bin marked imaginary friends.

'You can come in and play, but you have to make sure you use your indoor voice.'

'I was let down by the old bouncy castle.'

'Is there a Nobel Prize for viewing?'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Goes Through the Mirror.

"Mum, I've made a poodle-cat."