Childhood Themes Gifts

"Sorry, but you can't be friends with a page! Pages become squires, then knights: our mortal enemies!"

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

Haircuts

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

'He's maturing early.'

"Can Olaf come out to pillage and plunder?"

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

Teddy bear with a red balloon.

Fist Bumper Cars

"So, what do you do for play?"

Bike Rides

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

Tree house.

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed."

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

Baby Screen Time

"Recess does things to a man."

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

'Don't touch that tooth, dad. I'm expecting the tooth fairy at any moment.'

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

'Their daughter plays the violin.'

Kindergarten. Today; Simon Says. I don't know who this "Simon Says" is, but he could make a killing in product endorsements!

Serious Putty