Childhood Themes Pillows

"Sorry, but you can't be friends with a page! Pages become squires, then knights: our mortal enemies!"

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

Haircuts

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

Teddy bear with a red balloon.

Bike Rides

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

"So, what do you do for play?"

'He's maturing early.'

Fist Bumper Cars

Tree house.

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

Baby Screen Time

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"Recess does things to a man."

"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed."

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

'Their daughter plays the violin.'

'Don't touch that tooth, dad. I'm expecting the tooth fairy at any moment.'

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

'I love all the seasons! Fall and winter have great holidays, and spring and summer school gets out!'

Serious Putty