Childhood Memoir Lover Pillows

"I grew up in a traditional family. My parents divorced when I was six years old."

'How do you like my two-tone car?'

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

Mother pours bubble bath into child's plastic pool

Super Bowl Halftime Show Barbra Streisand reads from her memoir.

Caution May Contain Nuts.

'My first camera'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"We're playing doctor and I need 50 cents for my co-pay."

'Want to swap imaginary playmates?'

"The floors are hot lava, but the apartment does come furnished with plenty of pillows."

The Music Box

Green Balloon

Wanda takes a more proactive approach.

Fade to black...

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Dylan. Dylan's ambition is to make conkers a recognized Olympic sport.'

'Oh, I'm just writing a tender memoir or my long ago affair with J.F.K...it's filled with pathos and sad wishful longing...'

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"I'm in real trouble this time -- I broke the house!"

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

'And here on our left you see the sugary cereal aisle...a real crowd pleaser!'

Creepy Camp Stories.

'I want a scurrilous biography. If it was good enough for Getty, it will be good enough for me.'

'My favorites are the ones dad tells when he gets home late.'

'Ok, go! Hurry.!'

Skipping

Rapunzel as a child.

'We had a full and frank exchange of views, and then I bopped him.'

'I'm about to say my prayers, Dad. Do you want more pocket money too?'

"I'm too old for baby limas."

"Who knows the words to the theme song of the United States?"