Childhood Chronicler Pillows

'My composition is 'parental discipline and what we can do about it'.'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"Oh, it's not a baby book, it's his memoirs."

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

Mother pours bubble bath into child's plastic pool

Caution May Contain Nuts.

'My first camera'

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'Your life story?....why not, the world is in need of a few good laughs!'

"This tire raced in the Indy 500."

"I'm taking detailed notes of everything, so I can tell my kids what things were really like when I was their age."

Green Balloon

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

'Ok, go! Hurry.!'

'Believe me -- you don't want to know what I did on my summer vacation.'

'Forget the doctor! Just keep your eye out for the stork!'

'During my childhood I had imaginary playmates...One night they stole all my toys.'

"Some women to see you, Anne."

"She's always writing in that journal of hers. Maybe she'll be a notary public when she grows up."

'I'm about to say my prayers, Dad. Do you want more pocket money too?'

"I know more about art than you do, so I'll tell you what to like."

"'My Summer Vacation', read by the author. All rights reserved."

Proud parents take a photo of their potty-trained child.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure she sees it."

Paper Bombs

"I know about the tooth fairy, but I feel a bit young to be selling off my body parts!"

'Cheese.'

"Hey, Frankie, remember me? Summer of '88—we were twelve and you buried me up to my neck and left me to die."

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'All hail the queen of static electricity!'

Etch-A-Sketch VS. IPad

"I think it's a bit late in the evening, Harold, to tell them about your watershed experience."

I've heard that you've beaten the Hare, so I've come to challenge you...

"The dish and the spoon? Huh. I did not see that coming."

"You heard me. This is it. We had a three-picture deal."