Childhood Chronicler Pillows

'My composition is 'parental discipline and what we can do about it'.'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"Oh, it's not a baby book, it's his memoirs."

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

Mother pours bubble bath into child's plastic pool

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'My first camera'

Caution May Contain Nuts.

'Your life story?....why not, the world is in need of a few good laughs!'

"This tire raced in the Indy 500."

Green Balloon

"I'm taking detailed notes of everything, so I can tell my kids what things were really like when I was their age."

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

'Ok, go! Hurry.!'

"She's always writing in that journal of hers. Maybe she'll be a notary public when she grows up."

'During my childhood I had imaginary playmates...One night they stole all my toys.'

'Forget the doctor! Just keep your eye out for the stork!'

"Some women to see you, Anne."

'Believe me -- you don't want to know what I did on my summer vacation.'

'I'm about to say my prayers, Dad. Do you want more pocket money too?'

"I know more about art than you do, so I'll tell you what to like."

"Hey, Frankie, remember me? Summer of '88—we were twelve and you buried me up to my neck and left me to die."

'Cheese.'

Paper Bombs

"Don't worry, I'll make sure she sees it."

"I know about the tooth fairy, but I feel a bit young to be selling off my body parts!"

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'All hail the queen of static electricity!'

"You heard me. This is it. We had a three-picture deal."

'Alright, you've had enough. Time to pay the tab.'

"When I was a child I spoke as a child... but when I became a man I put away childish things... except for my Cocoa Puffs... I still love Cocoa Puffs."

"I think it's a bit late in the evening, Harold, to tell them about your watershed experience."

I've heard that you've beaten the Hare, so I've come to challenge you...

"The dish and the spoon? Huh. I did not see that coming."

On Display At The Children's House Of Horrors