Childhood Comedienne Gifts

'I can't, you're sitting on my flippers.'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

Another day at work would be one too many...

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

Rap music

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Toy plane with pilot eject.

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

A private jet takes off

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

'Well, if nothing else, Brad, your wine selection does prove you have a sense of humor.'

"Over millions of years, carbon turns to diamond. Yet it took dad plus his grill mere minutes to turn last night's marinated chicken into that carbon."

Exit Next Left

'Shall we bother with the sweet, chubby-chops?'

'After the tone, please leave your name and number.'

'That's funny, everybody else is going downstream.'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

Clubbing

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

Midwest Winter Items.

Ostrich's head buried into a pile of sand containing a woman

'What did I SAY to DAVE?' - A person with hangover worrying about the night before.

Mo's Meet The Predators Safari Tours.