Childhood Chaos Champions Pillows

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

"Everyone says she has the clutter of someone twice her age."

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

"She was right -- Her teddy bear did squish your action figure!"

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

'Actually, they're pretty nice, once they settle down.'

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

'None of the other things had instructions.'

"It's childhood. Your child has childhood."

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."

"Can't you just relax and enjoy my childhood."

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

Little schoolboy enjoys picking his nose.

Moral Ambiguity

"I downloaded the Laugh Track app yo soften mom when I give her my lame excuse."

'Don't just sit there buffering, clean up you room.'

"Brad? This is your congressman. Get Mommy on the phone, please."

Poker Moms

"We tried matching your child's behavioral patterns with one of those new-fangled medical condition, but it turns out that he really is just a precocious little twerp!"

'My room's in a terrible state, Mum's just cleaned it.'

'Clarence, it's always an inspiration to see you playing with pain.'

I'm beginning to see why they call these SELF-inking stamps'

A chaos of kids

'An oil spill in the YARD?'