Childhood Ceo Gifts

A young boy sits behind a lemonade stand with a sign that reads "Lemonade 25¢ - Jay Antosh, Chief Executive Officer".

"So a play date next Tuesday, okay? Have your people call my people to set it up."

"He likes it."

A child stands behind a stand piled high with snowballs and a sign that reads "Hand-crafted snowballs 25¢".

'He had a meteoric rise to the top.'

Lemonade Inc.

SALE

$1: Family Secrets

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

Frank and Ernie's Lesser Known History. Lemonade. Custer's first stand.

'Currently I've got lemonade, 7% CDs, Discount Brokerage and No Minimum Passbook Savings. I'm going to miss banking deregulation.'

"This gives me the inner fulfillment I could never achieve through dodgeball."

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

LEGO profits.

'Not one customer all day! What's the matter with this corner?'

Man sees stand with kittens with sign, 'Free or best offer'.

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'Sorry, cash only -- we don't accept little brothers.'

So tell me, Junior.

You did a hostile takeover of the corner lemonade stand? Why not? It's operated by Timmy. He's seven. He's a big boy. By seven, I had three ice cream carts. Besides, I made his investors an offer they couldn't refuse. We'll split the six free espressos. Waaaaah!

Stuff Broken

"I don't mind him running his own tech company at his age. However, I wish he would, at least, dress his age."

"She's asking if it's fresh-squeezed. Should I tell her to f**k off?"

"I don't understand people who say children should be seen and not heard. Why would anyone want to hear them?"

'Not a bad day. I started a phony company in computer lab, made a public stock offering over lunch hour and socked away fifteen million into an off-shore bank account before afternoon recess!'

"Oh no, we've got a jumper!"

'I love you, your father loves you. Now go paint a masterpiece.'

Experience the regional flavors of 2163 Pigeonhole Lane.

'I can tell when we're in a recession - my allowance gets cut.'

Two kids are selling iced tea from roadside stands; one is selling regular iced tea for 50¢ a cup, while the other is selling Long Island ice teas for $5.00 a cup.

'It's your mother -- are you here?'

"I'm aware of that. Fortunately there are no child management laws."

"For my bat mitzvah, my dad is getting me incorporated."

"On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate our product?"

'Mom, we've hired a few people to fill in for you while you relax on Mother's Day.'