Childhood Banter Enthusiasts Pillows

'Oh yeah? Well my dad bailed out your dad.'

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

"Every time I tie my shoes, the laces come undone...I think it's a conspiracy!"

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

'Your imagination was so powerful he became real. It happens to me all the time.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

Introducing Peter's Cousin - Murray Pan - The Boy Who Refused To Stay A Child

Knight of the sandcastle.

'She said she was made out of sugar and spice, so I bit her.'

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

"Has your mother called yet on the international situation?"

'You haven't changed a bit Perkins.'

'Sorry, I don't carry cash, I'm married!'

"Jenny, your play date's here!"

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"Meet your new baby brother! We decided to upgrade."

"I think our daughter got her brains from me."

Truce?

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

'You think you need WHAT glands expressed?'

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

'Did you hear about the fool who goes around saying no all the time?'

A young man replying cheekily to an older gentleman

"Just be aware, once you go upright there's no going back."

'Some days it's hard to keep one step ahead of them.'

"Nice shirt. Is it made of boyfriend material?"