Childcare Humor Lover Pillows

Facilities for children in a hotel.

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"I'm bored."

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

"It's his emotional support animal."

'So this is goodbye then!'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

Children's Nursery

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

Therapy for babies.

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Mom dwarves.

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

'His vocabulary is growing by leaps and soap bubbles.'

"If we're lucky, she'll get a single wear out of this."

"Open up for the choo-choo train!"

A Mom's Purse

'Take a letter,'

'Actually both my kids are twins...'

"I'd like a note excusing me from my wife's childbirth!"

Wild Child

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

"Sorry, Boss, I thought you wanted me to make it look like an accident."

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"