Childcare Comedy Lover Pillows

'Home from work at last!!'

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"I'm bored."

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

'So this is goodbye then!'

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

Children's Nursery

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

Therapy for babies.

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

'Take a letter,'

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

"Go on in—he's expecting you."

'Accounting has suggested we standardize our billing procedure.'

"There is no 'I' in 'team', however there are several 'I's in 'I'm the boss and you do what I say'."

'Why did you leave your last job?' 'You would too, if they sold your desk and changed all the locks!'

Count Alucard's Night-Care Center.

'Due to company cutbacks, you won't be getting that raise. However, to earn extra money, I can hire you to wash my corporate jet.'

'This is great. No dishes to wash!'

'My first solids. Do breasts get jealous?'

Drac, I gotta have a better office if I'm gonna market your Tomato Juice.

"Besides currently being underpaid, over-worked, and having a crazy boss, why else did you apply?"

Thank You for Not Bringing Up My Salary

A baby biting a boys wristwatch

'Delegating has worked well for me....I haven't actually done anything since 1993.'

'Congratulations, Fingleworth. You made the 'Million Dollar Club.' We estimate that's what you've cost the company.'

'I am transferring to another day-care center. I am not getting enough playing time.'

'As a baby sitter, you shouldn't think of me as a bratty kid...think of me as a jobs creator!'