Childcare Chuckler Pillows

'Take a letter,'

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

Therapy for babies.

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'Oh my - hasn't he grown!'

'We've never had an accident - aside from three of our five kids.'

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

'I promise you we'll have him out of here real fast... we need the rest.'

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'My first solids. Do breasts get jealous?'

"It's weeder's elbow."

Working Mother

'You want a second opinion? -- Oh, a big shot, eh?'

A baby biting a boys wristwatch

'The doctors said you were so nervous about the operation they had to give you a tranquiliser.'

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

"I'd let her go, but she's so good with the kids."

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"I'm sorry, James...but I'm afraid Jelly Beans aren't a vegetable!"

'Bless you!'

'So that's 60 minutes, room 4 with Sally, and will you be taking our standard resuscitation insurance?'

"If I need to stop smoking and lose weight...what are you going to do about it?"

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

'Home from work at last!!'

-What did the carrot say to the onion? -What? -Nothing, vegetables don't talk!

"It's my opinion that you suffer from a hyperactive disorder. And when you're done writing that down, I'd like my chart back."

'Did Dr. Spock ever write anything about how to handle PARENTS?'

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"