Child's Play Expert Gifts

"I told you not to bump your sister so hard"

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

Haircuts

'What's play?'

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

'How's the water skiing?'

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

Fade to black...

"Do that again, but cuter."

'We're playing Doctor - he's the caddy.'

'I hear you can tell how big they will get by the size of their feet.'

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

Hand Puppets for all ages (Especially 3 or 4).

Child climbs up alphabet bricks to reach his teddy bear.

Boy makes a finger shadow on the tent.

"This dog has wheels!"

'You gonna sign for this, kid?'

'Guess what? I fixed your jack-in-the-box.'

'Take two jelly beans and call me in the morning.'

"Whenever I want my mom to play fort, I just turn on news about climate change."

'Your little one is giving the sitter a big kiss-of life.'

Children playing hopscotch wrong.

Women with her children of leashes passes dog walker with dogs so well trained they have no leashes.

"I'm through playing doctor. With insurance forms, co-payments, and malpractice suits, it's just no fun!"

'Do you want to play doctor?' 'I can't, you're not insured.'

'I thought I told you not to play 'foreclosure eviction' with your sister's doll house!'

The First Sign Your Child May Be A Superhero.

'I didn't use a plate because my soldiers are underequipped.'

'I'll give you sit-down-strike! Just you get this room tidied up by bedtime!'

'Hey, you two! Stop that.'

"I'll keep this up until he gets me a real pony!"

'Sorry, Jimmy... the chameleons never seem to be out.'