Child's First Achievement Pillows

'I just feel like we're setting him up to be disappointed in the real world.'

'I am so proud son: It was such an amazing first coak-a-doodle-do!'

Justin could feel the joy he had brought his parents with his first drawing... and so the joy continued... and continued... and continued...

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

Children's Art Show.

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

'...that 12th piece of fudge I ate must have been bad.'

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

"We're hoping that someday Rosalie will be a major player in the creative economy."

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'I've changed my mind...I want to grow up to be a politician.'

"Before you know it they've got legs and they're swimming all over the place."

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

"Wait, so his first whole sentence was 'I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day'?!"

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

Eagle parenting.

Sparkler

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

'He's already surfing without nappies!'

'F.G.G. First Grade Graduate.'

'Oh look Julia, he's just text me his first word.'

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

That's my son

'He's about to destroy his first city and you're in a meeting?'

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??

Proud Mum.

'I bronzed his first pair of running shoes.'

"I'm too old for baby limas."

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."