Child's Dental Milestone Pillows

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'At lone at last.'

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Baby's first two-step.'

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

'Gee you're lucky! I don't think the Tooth-Fairy will ever bring me anything...'

'Guess who's teething?'

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

Eagle parenting.

Sparkler

"Wait, so his first whole sentence was 'I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day'?!"

Dominant hand reveal party

'We think he has a future in politics.'

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??

"I'm too old for baby limas."

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."