Child's Birthday Party T-Shirts

"Sorry, he has this thing against children."

Soft play area. Kids leave nursing bruises, cuts and limping.

Green Balloon

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Swinging on a star.

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'He made an excellent jelly.'

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

Face painting by numbers.

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

Little Princess.

'Maybe the batteries are dead.'

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

Kids with Fish Balloons

A Woman Holding Canapes

Children's Party

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

"Mom, can you come get me?"

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

'Guess how many I ATE.'

Bee costume

Children playing games

Baxter Higgleton, word balloon artist.

Teddy and friends.

"When Mom reads that story, the dragon comes off as a much more sympathetic character."

'Gee you're lucky! I don't think the Tooth-Fairy will ever bring me anything...'

'...that 12th piece of fudge I ate must have been bad.'

Teddy bear being taken to hospital.

Jimmy had a very active imagination.

Swing

"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'