Child's Birthday Party Gifts

"Sorry, he has this thing against children."

Soft play area. Kids leave nursing bruises, cuts and limping.

Green Balloon

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Swinging on a star.

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Little Princess.

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

Face painting by numbers.

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

'Maybe the batteries are dead.'

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

Kids with Fish Balloons

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

Children's Party

A Woman Holding Canapes

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

Baxter Higgleton, word balloon artist.

"Mom, can you come get me?"

Teddy and friends.

'Guess how many I ATE.'

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

Bee costume

Children playing games

'...that 12th piece of fudge I ate must have been bad.'

"When Mom reads that story, the dragon comes off as a much more sympathetic character."

Teddy bear being taken to hospital.

'Gee you're lucky! I don't think the Tooth-Fairy will ever bring me anything...'

Children's Entertainer

Jimmy had a very active imagination.

'Your Grounded!'

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'