Child Birthday Gifts

'I hate it when he has friends around'.

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Face painting.

Swinging on a star.

"Just let her believe in fairies a little while longer."

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

Green Balloon

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

Teddy bear with a red balloon.

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

Yoga with Baby

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

Baxter Higgleton, word balloon artist.

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

Teddy and friends.

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

'...that 12th piece of fudge I ate must have been bad.'

"When Mom reads that story, the dragon comes off as a much more sympathetic character."

Teddy bear being taken to hospital.

'Gee you're lucky! I don't think the Tooth-Fairy will ever bring me anything...'

Children's Entertainer

Swing

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

'Your Grounded!'

Help me!

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

Cinéma Vérité

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

"Wow! You're a real good guesser, mom...that's exactly what we had at Jonny's party! Spaghetti an' cake an' ice cream!"

"Technology is for babies!"

Jack in the Box

How Piñatas Are Born