Chief Of Chit-chat Champions T-Shirts

"When you're through playing Earth Mother, you've got a call on Line 2."

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

Rock star uses phone on stage: 'Hang on Mom, I'm just putting you on speakerphone.'

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

Now showing - "What's the least noisy film we can chat through?"

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

Full Of Beans

'HEY,no Tongue!'

'With three teenage daughters the phone never rings twice in this house!'

'This beer is pale and tasteless.' 'Your glass is empty.'

"How did I get to be the only one that listens?"

'I'll slap the both of you if you don't knock off the chit chat.'

Dadonomics

Small Talk Outlet

'I booze, I schmooze and then I snooze.'

Affordable homes coming soon - 'If they build these then our house will become affordable...!'

"This call is monitored for quality. Try to keep up your end of the conversation."

"You're so easy to talk to - not everyone is such a good listener."

"He can't stop digressing."

"You're not holding up your end of the conversation."

"He sure could talk on the C.B. radio."

'I'm in the bog!'

'How's it going with me? Oh, you know, still dealing with the same old shit.'

"Good morning 'Best Friends Forever' breakfast club!"

'You'll never win that contest -- you've never said anything in fifty words or less.'

'Please cover for me Carol. I'll be away from my desk, roaming the cubicles, searching for sports talk.'

Chatterbox Podium

"I call Fred my '401-K'. Lots of promises but nothing to show for it."

Long delays likely.