Chief Deception Officer Gifts

Since this is a smoke-free building, we'll have to fool the shareholders with mirrors alone.

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

Turtle Hat

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

Panama Papers Scandal

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

AI Safety Officer

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

"Everybody's impressed with how you can shred incriminating documents into one long strand."

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

Words that can result in employee litigation box.

IRS Audit Section

"We fell for this last time remember..."

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."