Chickpea Champion T-Shirts

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

'Now that's Real TV!'

Haute Chinese

"I'm sorry madam, we're right out of Mississippi mud pie. All that's left is the Severn sludge souffle."

'My arms are getting shorter.'

The Little Engine that really shouldn't, she already had one of Evelyn's cheesecake brownies, she couldn't possibly, O.K. maybe just one.

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

"10,000 steps...just answering doorbells."

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

"I want to be so successful that it ruins my life."

'Helen! I'm all settled in and I don't want to get up. Would you get the remote for me?'

"Tia Carmen's Bucket List: pulling a 7-day telenovela bender."

"I didn't miss my workout...I didn't miss it one bit!"

Ball and Chain

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."

"Look, we're getting a recreation centre."

Hungry Panda Thirsty Hippo Curious Sloth

'Someone told him life begins at forty. Now he's reserving his energies!'

"And this is my husband...he's into energy conservation, mostly his own!"

Fortunately, his training had prepared him to deal with all types of customers.