Chick-lit Critic Pillows

"Can I return this, please? You sold me a chic-lit-rom-com, and I distinctly remember asking for a plain chic-lit."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

Mom's Mortuary

'I hate chick flicks!' 'Sniff...me too...'

'I can't go in there now, I'll look ridiculous.'

Plug: ' OHHH, Baby Baby.'

Surprised cook.

Tres chic

"Raw sewage is so much easier to source these days."

Sick Exhibitionist

'Thanks to me, you can save the money for the cat food from now on and put it into more reasonable investments!'

The Weekly Poultry Reading was Short-Lived.

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

"He may be a famous artist, but I find his work too chocolate-boxy."

"A cat wouldn't answer."

"Go bother your mother. She's only reading chick lit."

"That was a silly way to split the dung Fred! How are we supposed to roll our share home now?"

"I couldn't believe it either, but Heaven really is a dumbed-down book fair."

Chick stands in front of bookshelf marked 'chick lit'

"Pretty sure that braid came from a crafts store."

Fashion House - In/So last week.

Honk If You Hate Cats

"Ooh - that one was a bit gamey."

"Amusing bouquet, without being hilarious."

"I love this time of year when the leaves hide the empty burger boxes, beer cans, chocolate wrappers..."

"The bastardized representation of cat culture in the upcoming Cats film is yet another egregious example of commodification and cultural appropriation exacted for human profit at the expense of feline communities."

Bad Reads

Easter Surprise

"That's the fourth husband she's put in the ground without any concern for what it's doing to the environment."

"I identified most with the popcorn-loving protagonist who hosted a monthly book club in her home."