Chick-lit Critic Pillows

"Can I return this, please? You sold me a chic-lit-rom-com, and I distinctly remember asking for a plain chic-lit."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

Mom's Mortuary

'I can't go in there now, I'll look ridiculous.'

Plug: ' OHHH, Baby Baby.'

Surprised cook.

Sick Exhibitionist

"Raw sewage is so much easier to source these days."

Tres chic

"He may be a famous artist, but I find his work too chocolate-boxy."

'Thanks to me, you can save the money for the cat food from now on and put it into more reasonable investments!'

"A cat wouldn't answer."

The Weekly Poultry Reading was Short-Lived.

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

"Go bother your mother. She's only reading chick lit."

Chick stands in front of bookshelf marked 'chick lit'

"I couldn't believe it either, but Heaven really is a dumbed-down book fair."

Fashion House - In/So last week.

"Pretty sure that braid came from a crafts store."

"That was a silly way to split the dung Fred! How are we supposed to roll our share home now?"

Honk If You Hate Cats

Easter Surprise

"I love this time of year when the leaves hide the empty burger boxes, beer cans, chocolate wrappers..."

Bad Reads

"The bastardized representation of cat culture in the upcoming Cats film is yet another egregious example of commodification and cultural appropriation exacted for human profit at the expense of feline communities."

"Amusing bouquet, without being hilarious."

"That's the fourth husband she's put in the ground without any concern for what it's doing to the environment."

"How's the new Reading lanp?"

"I identified most with the popcorn-loving protagonist who hosted a monthly book club in her home."