Comedic Cat Critic Pillows

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

Biofelineism

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Cat Zoom Meeting

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

Santa Claws...

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

Pop up begger.

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

Animal Olympics: 'What do you say next year we have some non-cheetah races?'

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

"And how long have you had this superiority complex?"

"Excuse me - could you tell me which recession we are in at the moment?"

Sick Exhibitionist

London Congestion & Polution Zone - 'What's your problem? I thought Boris was in charge now.'

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

'It just seem excessive, somehow -- buying a big-screen, high-definition TV to watch Geraldo with.'

"I want you to be open and honest and to not leave any hair on the couch."

"Allow Me"

Safety Pin

Robot Bores

"A cat wouldn't answer."

'Aside from the cockroach, how was everything?'

End of the Pier Show

"But we make a killing on auto repairs...if we encourage people to fix things themselves first."

"This is not the sleeping beauty I paid good money to see!"

"We've got kind of a noir thing happening here, Manny. The girlie cigarette doesn't exactly add."