Chick Flick Fanatic Gifts

'Sorry to be late, Emma... did I miss any obscenities?'

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"It turns out that if you give a hundred monkeys a hundred typewriters, eventually they'll turn out the work of Tarantino."

What's an Imax cave?

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

"Werewolves of London..."

Reese Witherspoon

Giant slug attacks a city

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

Star Wars Audience

"Haven't you already seen this movie, like, a hundred times?"

"My favourite movie is Mrs Fire, without doubt."

"No! I am your father!" "Noooooo!"

'Huh? Little Airmyn?'

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"If I knew when this was going to end, it wouldn't be so stressful."

"Which part are you reading for?"

Blockbuster Billion Club

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

Hollywood producer.

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

'I don't have enough. How much to se it in 2-D?'

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

Starvation Watching

Cinemuck

"This is scary, maybe we should turn on the lights. Hello.."