Chia Connoisseur Gifts

Chia carpeting.

The wonderful world of cheese.

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

Dog Walker

Aromatherapy for Men

Shaved Ice

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

Heaven

'Climbing up a chair to take a bag of potato crisps out of the cupboard five times a day does nor count as exercise, sir!'

It doesn't get any better than this --- Tai Chi with chai tea!

"I feel a draft."

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

"This has been a productive homework session!"

"If the packers lose I'll eat my hat."

"There's nothing like dog-walking for making new friends...."

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

'Must...find...something...intelligent..!'

"Can you make me a tall Tazo chai latte with soy milk?" Bartleby, the soon-to-be-unemployed barista.

"Please remember chips have little nutritional value."

J. Parry Clockmaker

'I've just woken up.' (Chip Van Winkle)

'Honey, I fear, to be a European patriot means a little more than having a German beer for breakfast, Italian pizza and French wine for lunch and Spanish brandy for dinner...'

Boiling Oil.

"My lines have become blurred, I can't remember whether I'm drinking the medicinal or the recreational wine."

"Please don't feel it necessary to make conversation."

Grange Hildegard.

"You should feel honoured. I don't sue anyone."

"I made dinner!"

"It's our anniversary. Bring us your best bottle of beer!"

'I get no respect!'

"Are you mad at me or just chewing tobacco?"

Pointing in outrage