Chemical Calamity Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I wish to complain about the chlorine level in the swimming pool. . ."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

Roasted

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

It's an experiment.

Molecules you ought to be aware of...

The End of the World is Nigh - man with placard

Professor Urquat makes his final contribution to the world of science.

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

FDA will 'Regulate Tobacco'.

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

Goldfish Insurance: " We must insure against a deluge of BIBLICAL proportions. . ."

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

"Uh-oh...I fear this means trouble at the stock exchange!"

The final days of hair coloring

Drawing board disaster.

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

How scientists classify the Elements vs how students classify the Elements.

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

The Mysterious World of Ligand Substitution.

"Let these catalysts catalyze! Allow this experiment to be expedited. Help these chemicals to coalesce."

'Landsbanki collapses in October 2008 and affects thousands of investors,' - 'The 'Eyjafjallajokull' volcano erupts in April 2010 causing massive disruption to international airspace,' - 'The question you have to ask is, 'Did sacking Kerry Katona,,,'

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

"Then we'll just mark it 'Do not shake before using'."

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

Mammalicide.

'...Man, I'll be glad when this inning is over.'

'Don't worry, it's all dark meat.'

Smoke gets in your eyes.