Chef's Dilemma Enthusiast Gifts

'Take no notice, I fired him ten minutes ago.'

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

"If you want my opinion you're damned if you do and damned if you don't."

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

"Waiter - there's no fly in my soup!"

"It was a cold night, like tonight, back, I'd say, in 1954."

Woman finds something in her soup.

Left and Right: Please be consistent.

A man's health care options.

"Relax sir, I'm sure chef barely remembers you posting a negative review online."

"Law or Accountancy? What d'you want to do - make money or count money?"

'What do you sugget for a couple of fuddyduddies who love hot and spicy, but have to eat bland?'

'She leaves before I finish her portrait.'

'Would you mind blowing into this bag Sir?'

Tasting Zoo

Pick a direction.

It isn't about what's right or wrong, but choosing what's right for you. Therapy makes shopping way more difficult.

'What's this about the food tasting funny?'

A little green pepper means 'vegetarian." A little red heart means "heart healthy." And a little skull and crossbones means "I really shouldn't , but

Supermarket Aisles.

"He said his name was Joseph when he told us he'd be our waiter this evening."

'I think your doctor gave you the wrong note, Sir. We don't have any bread and milk.'

This fly is doing the backstroke

"Uh-oh this is going to be a tough one."

'well, then, I guess you're also lactose substitute intolerant.'

"Miss, could I have some, ah, just bread?"

Brain vs heart

Decision time again for Mr Greenspan.

"Do you have such a thing as low calorie caramel coffee creams?"

'Beefsteak tomatoes and mincemeat pie.'

'Finally have an expense account and I'm always on a diet.'

"Are you a decisive type person?"