Chef's Dilemma Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Take no notice, I fired him ten minutes ago.'

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

"If you want my opinion you're damned if you do and damned if you don't."

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

"Waiter - there's no fly in my soup!"

"It was a cold night, like tonight, back, I'd say, in 1954."

Left and Right: Please be consistent.

A man's health care options.

"Relax sir, I'm sure chef barely remembers you posting a negative review online."

"Law or Accountancy? What d'you want to do - make money or count money?"

'She leaves before I finish her portrait.'

'What do you sugget for a couple of fuddyduddies who love hot and spicy, but have to eat bland?'

'Would you mind blowing into this bag Sir?'

Tasting Zoo

Pick a direction.

'What's this about the food tasting funny?'

It isn't about what's right or wrong, but choosing what's right for you. Therapy makes shopping way more difficult.

"He said his name was Joseph when he told us he'd be our waiter this evening."

Supermarket Aisles.

'I think your doctor gave you the wrong note, Sir. We don't have any bread and milk.'

Decision time again for Mr Greenspan.

"Miss, could I have some, ah, just bread?"

'well, then, I guess you're also lactose substitute intolerant.'

Brain vs heart

"Uh-oh this is going to be a tough one."

"Do you have such a thing as low calorie caramel coffee creams?"

'Beefsteak tomatoes and mincemeat pie.'

"Are you a decisive type person?"

'Finally have an expense account and I'm always on a diet.'

"Every time you want to eat a waiter, you can't find one."