Cheeseburger Critic T-Shirts

NEW BREAKTHROUGH IN DIETING! I'll have one regular cheeseburger from column "A", and one negative calories cheeseburger from column "B." Menu. Menu.

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

"I hate this time of year."

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

Big Burgers.

"He looks like a cheeseburger."

"No, honey, you didn't make history on that day - you made halloumi!"

Cheese

'Actually, I'm here just for the wine and cheese.'

'Blimey, how old is this stilton?' 'Let;s put it this way...it used to be cheddar.'

"Your genes may be responsible for your way to going but I'm thinking that the four cheeseburgers you may have for breakfast might be a factor."

"But is it art?"

Cheese Plaiters.

'Don't you have American processed cheese food in a can?'

"There are mysteries up here on the 13th floor. Like who keeps locking the exit door? Why is that clock always 12 minutes fast? And who actually eats the liverwurst sandwiches from that machine?"

Woman tells man with camera: 'I can't say 'cheese' because I'm lactose intolerant.'

'Noooo! You idiot! For crying out loud! Sear it first! Then a slow oven.'

"Just because it's your birthday doesn't mean you can beam back down to earth for a cheeseburger!"

"Ewww – Cabernet with tuna fish?"

Catfishing.

Trump dries his hair with hot air

'I had to report it. Based on your lifestyle, your heart attack was premeditated.'

'Monged too much this week?'

Obesity: Mechanical & Biological.

'I want some lessons in back seat driving.'

Market. Cheeses. Trouble in the case, Ernie? Yeah, four of the cheeses are disliked by the others. The bleu cheese is always depressed and ruins any fun they try to have. The limburger is condescending - it thinks "sharpest" means "smartest." The low-fat cheese won't stop bragging about being the most fit and attractive. And there's a problem with the Swiss too? Yeah, it has a holier-than-thou attitude.

"I love cheeseburgers more than I hate being fat."

"Burger with - I'm guessing - American cheese?"

'This is the life - false friends, artificial stimulation,vicarious sex...'

Items From the Jay Leno Fan Club