Cheese Alternative Advocate Pillows

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

Desert Island Meals.

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"Is there a vegan option?"

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"De l'huile bouillante, pas du fromage fondu!"

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

"We REALLY do get better with age."

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

"You had me at alternative milk."

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

'Is it organic?'

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

The Porkypine Pals - Moon Business

Frankenfish

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

Repletion.

'Just say no to ch-e-e-s-ee!'

'I say it's spinach and the heck with it!'

'It's not that I'm stupid. I'm lactose intolerant and on a diet.'

'Sorry guys, I've checked: The Moon is not made of cheese...'

"You can see by its smile that this halibut was humanely killed."

"I'm a genetically engineered chicken substitute."

'Personally I wouldn't be seen dead in it.'

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."

"We use only free-range chicken and suicidal veal."

"Where can I find your organic, locally raised children?"

"I'm surprised Tofurkey isn't more popular. It tastes nothing like turkey."