Cheeky Santa Smiler Gifts

"I think our algorithm MAY have a few glitches...he was in the 'nice' list!"

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

'Your shoe's untied.'

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

'Would it make a difference if I told you I was listening to book on audio?'

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

Sticking out tongue

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

Justice for a heckler.

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

"Your dump or mine..?"

'He's using a cheat sheet, ump! Can he do that?'

'Dinner was taking too long, so I just went ahead and ordered pizza.'

'My dad is a CEO - don't trust him!'

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

'It the thought that counts.'

"Hey! Are you staring at my assets?!"

"How about after nightime meds you come to my room for some Netflix and chill."

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

Happy Spring!

"We lost Mr. Speak No Evil when he became a blogger."

"You have a mask?"

'Sorry, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

"He's offered to show me the breast stroke - tonight in his water bed!"

Clean Fill Wanted

Classic SM.

"By breaking the seal on this dress, you accept the terms and conditions printed on my panties."

'Have you a moment sir?...A: Yes; B: No; or C: Naff off?'

'Couldn't you spend just one Christmas at home?'