Cheeky Humor Lovers Pillows

"Pssst. . . Major sideboob at 12 o'clock."

"Fresh pepper?"

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

Elephant ass selfie.

So You've Cloned Yourself

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

"Stop calling everything Kafka-esque

Ladmag - Caution, immature content.

'What are you talking about? ? how can you have half a quantum theory?'

'You had me at hell.'

Too Weird to Have a Husband

"No Eric, you're NOT funny haha. . . you're funny peculiar. . !"

Baby restaurant

Barbecue: Touch the Chef Inappropriately!

'Sorry Rocko, you know how it works. Step on a crack, break your mother's back.'

'I think I'll let Goldie do a few lengths in the bath before I get in.'

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

'When I found iout you are what you eat, well, I'm nuts!'

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

"Who put back an empty jar of formaldehyde?"

Trying to rectify the Leaning Tower of Pisa

'I love your perfume, what is it?' -'Exhumed!'

"Hey-look, honey! We screwed our tails off!"

"Ordering groceries online can be unpredictable."

"You can't say that about the guinea pigs. Their lawyers won't allow it.'

Elephant Leak