Checkout Champions T-Shirts

Supermarket checkout sigs read: 'Eight items or less; Cash only; I'll think of something.'

Shopping Cart Races

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

Only One Item or Fewer.

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

"How much of this stuff can I eat before it can no longer be returned?"

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'

'You're the first person to ask for a shopping hour in addition to a lunch hour.'

Tescos: 'Oh no! There's no chocolate at the checkout!'

'That's Jeb Lambert. He was actually the first one to say 'paper or plastic'. Before that everyone said 'plastic or paper'... I mean, can you imagine?'

Self Checkout

'As many items as I want or no customer!'

'Sir, wait! You can't go yet! The register hasn't finished spitting out all your valuable coupons.'

10 items or less

'Which eight do you want?'

'That's eleven..!!' ( 10 items or less counter ).

'Sorry, the bag boy's down with the flu,'

Elderly couple bearing a sign: '...We take ages.'

"I never use the Express Lane. I like to keep my money a little longer."

"King me!"

'Oh that's actually for here, not to go.'

"Oh, that's a tricky one...now let me think...'Would I like a carrier bag..?' hmm..."

To get customer service please scream loudly 'Dear God is there no one there, what do I have to do to get serviced...I'm going to take my money somewhere else...'

10 Items or Less or Else.

'Sorry ma'am, but a rule is a rule.'

Express till 'Ten over priced items or less'

Supermarket Self Service Checkout

Eight Attempts at remembering PIN or less.

'Need any help with packing?'

Cash Only QUIK SHOP: NO checks! NO credit! NO coupons! NO small talk!

"Would you like me to help you pack, or throw your shopping towards you at such a speed, you experience both stress and annoyance?"

'Sorry, there are more than eight frozen peas in here.'