Checkout Champ T-Shirts

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

Only One Item or Fewer.

Orderly Conduct of Sales

"So what brings you in today?"

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

"Is this your husbands first flight?"

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'

'You're the first person to ask for a shopping hour in addition to a lunch hour.'

Tescos: 'Oh no! There's no chocolate at the checkout!'

'That's Jeb Lambert. He was actually the first one to say 'paper or plastic'. Before that everyone said 'plastic or paper'... I mean, can you imagine?'

'As many items as I want or no customer!'

"Careful...she bites."

'Sir, wait! You can't go yet! The register hasn't finished spitting out all your valuable coupons.'

10 items or less

Elderly couple bearing a sign: '...We take ages.'

"Who's next?"

Hell for cashiers.

'Which eight do you want?'

'Sorry, the bag boy's down with the flu,'

"Oh, that's a tricky one...now let me think...'Would I like a carrier bag..?' hmm..."

'Oh that's actually for here, not to go.'

Shopping Cart Races

"Unidentified object in bagging area!"

'Unexpected item in bagging area!'

'I'm going to have to scan, it could take a while.'

"To be honest, I'm surprised they didn't have it."

"I never use the Express Lane. I like to keep my money a little longer."

10 Items or Less or Else.

'Sorry ma'am, but a rule is a rule.'

Express till 'Ten over priced items or less'