Checkout Champ Pillows

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

Only One Item or Fewer.

Orderly Conduct of Sales

"So what brings you in today?"

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

"Is this your husbands first flight?"

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'

Bank Checking Accounts. Yes, deposits are guaranteed, sir --- but withdrawals aren't.

'You're the first person to ask for a shopping hour in addition to a lunch hour.'

Tescos: 'Oh no! There's no chocolate at the checkout!'

'That's Jeb Lambert. He was actually the first one to say 'paper or plastic'. Before that everyone said 'plastic or paper'... I mean, can you imagine?'

'Sir, wait! You can't go yet! The register hasn't finished spitting out all your valuable coupons.'

'As many items as I want or no customer!'

10 items or less

"Careful...she bites."

'Which eight do you want?'

Elderly couple bearing a sign: '...We take ages.'

Hell for cashiers.

'Sorry, the bag boy's down with the flu,'

"Who's next?"

12 items or less. 12 items or else.

10 Items or Less or Else.

Shopping Cart Races

"To be honest, I'm surprised they didn't have it."

'I'm going to have to scan, it could take a while.'

'Unexpected item in bagging area!'

"I never use the Express Lane. I like to keep my money a little longer."

"Unidentified object in bagging area!"

'Oh that's actually for here, not to go.'

"Oh, that's a tricky one...now let me think...'Would I like a carrier bag..?' hmm..."

'Sorry ma'am, but a rule is a rule.'