Checking In At Club Colon Gifts

"Hey Frank, how was your colonoscopy?" "In and out."

La Table

"Try thinking about something else."

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

The prying mantis,

"Would you like to try them out?"

"Is this your husbands first flight?"

Campaign 2016

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

'Sir, your suitcase is quantitatively challenged.'

'… and another thing … the only reason you know it's my birthday to begin with, is because we were all born on the same day!'

Late again.

"We have some architects in our colony."

Comic Con Creeper

'...And in local weather, Ken's cologne has clashed with Trish's hair spray, causing a thunder shower over the news desk.'

"Sleep? No, I'm the anxiety fairy. How about a cuppa joe?"

'Yes, I'm age 68, just a few more years to go before retirement! Here's your ticket, sir. Greetings to the pilot, he's my dad!'

'I don't like to carry ID.'

When animal cloners suffer from insomnia.

"If you can't sleep you may as well be productive and guard the meth lab."

"I'd like to be on time for school but it makes the day too long!"

'So - what's your problem?'

"I wanted you to meet our colon specialist before we miniaturized him."

This club is for members only

'So, you've been under the knife as well?'

"Sorry I'm late. Heavy traffic."

"Boy, that performance stunk!"

"Do you have a reservation?"

Man pretending to sleepwalk out of a sermon.

"It costs how much to join?"

"What do you do when you can't sleep?"

"Decaf... I distincly ordered DECAF..."

'Hey! This club is for members only!'