Checking In At Club Colon T-Shirts

"Hey Frank, how was your colonoscopy?" "In and out."

La Table

"Try thinking about something else."

The prying mantis,

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"Would you like to try them out?"

Campaign 2016

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

"Is this your husbands first flight?"

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

'Sir, your suitcase is quantitatively challenged.'

'… and another thing … the only reason you know it's my birthday to begin with, is because we were all born on the same day!'

Comic Con Creeper

"We have some architects in our colony."

'...And in local weather, Ken's cologne has clashed with Trish's hair spray, causing a thunder shower over the news desk.'

Late again.

"Sleep? No, I'm the anxiety fairy. How about a cuppa joe?"

When animal cloners suffer from insomnia.

'I don't like to carry ID.'

'Yes, I'm age 68, just a few more years to go before retirement! Here's your ticket, sir. Greetings to the pilot, he's my dad!'

"If you can't sleep you may as well be productive and guard the meth lab."

"I'd like to be on time for school but it makes the day too long!"

'So - what's your problem?'

"I wanted you to meet our colon specialist before we miniaturized him."

This club is for members only

'So, you've been under the knife as well?'

Mind Your Antennae.

"Sorry I'm late. Heavy traffic."

"Boy, that performance stunk!"

"Do you have a reservation?"

"What do you do when you can't sleep?"

"Decaf... I distincly ordered DECAF..."

"It costs how much to join?"

Man pretending to sleepwalk out of a sermon.

'Hey! This club is for members only!'