Check-in Staff T-Shirts

'She worked at the airport behind the check-in counter. Dumped me after our first date. Said I had too much baggage.'

'Yes, I'm age 68, just a few more years to go before retirement! Here's your ticket, sir. Greetings to the pilot, he's my dad!'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

TSA Noah

The World's Easiest Airport

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

The Scanner Of Love.

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

Employee of the Month Parking

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'

Disinformation booth.

Einstein discovers that time can stop completely.

Limerick Airport

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

Airport Bored Rooms

"It's cheaper than coach, and he gets more legroom."

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

'Next plane to Los Angeles is at 3.'

"It's my helper trout!"

"That's mine. No, wait - I have one that looks just like that."

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."