Checkbook Champion Gifts

'Your checks have gone beyond rubber, Mr. Sutton -- We now refer to them as 'flubber.''

"It's the credit card company...They called to say you forgot to sign that check you're putting in the envelop."

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

Sweep the board.

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

"Much ado list"

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

So close... Yet so far.

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

'Sir, your suitcase is quantitatively challenged.'

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

Research continues to discover if the inability to balance a checkbook is genetic.

'Queen you? There's no queen in checkers, and never has been or will be.'

'One down, four to go, Katie.'

'You're the first person to ask for a shopping hour in addition to a lunch hour.'

The great big holiday to-do list.

Tescos: 'Oh no! There's no chocolate at the checkout!'

To Do: Eat, Sleep, Totally freak out at midnight.

'I have yopur lab results. Some of your readings are too high and some are too low. No, they don't balance out.'

"I can't believe we forgot to pack the car."

'That's Jeb Lambert. He was actually the first one to say 'paper or plastic'. Before that everyone said 'plastic or paper'... I mean, can you imagine?'

Queequeg: Master Harpoonist and Social Director, USS Pequod.

Edna's Doctor Fantasy

"He has ambiguous feelings about our cause."

'That's why your checkbook balance looks so good. You sent all of your online bills to the junk file.'

You'll see, Chet; sales will pick up as soon as this whole Internet fad blows over.'

The Joy of Cheques

"I've finished my New Year's resolutions, and now I'm going to get a running start on yours."

'The bank wants you to stop writing checks for a few days, to give them a chance to catch up.'

"Ah! It feels so good to check something off my to-do list!"

'Cheetah!'

'I'm not into this rodeo stuff - can't we play checkers or something?'