Check-in Champion T-Shirts

'Sir, your suitcase is quantitatively challenged.'

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

"Much ado list"

InOutYada Yada.

'Eleven?.. you mean there's more numbers beyond the number of fingers we have?'

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

So close... Yet so far.

"Is this your husbands first flight?"

"Crosby, Stills, Nash & Jung"

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

'I believe you were first.'

'One down, four to go, Katie.'

Tescos: 'Oh no! There's no chocolate at the checkout!'

The great big holiday to-do list.

'You're the first person to ask for a shopping hour in addition to a lunch hour.'

To Do: Eat, Sleep, Totally freak out at midnight.

'I have yopur lab results. Some of your readings are too high and some are too low. No, they don't balance out.'

"I can't believe we forgot to pack the car."

'That's Jeb Lambert. He was actually the first one to say 'paper or plastic'. Before that everyone said 'plastic or paper'... I mean, can you imagine?'

Edna's Doctor Fantasy

"He has ambiguous feelings about our cause."

'Yes, I'm age 68, just a few more years to go before retirement! Here's your ticket, sir. Greetings to the pilot, he's my dad!'

"Whenever I try counting my flock I fall asleep."

"I've finished my New Year's resolutions, and now I'm going to get a running start on yours."

"Ah! It feels so good to check something off my to-do list!"

"I'm still a work-in-hiding."

'I'm not into this rodeo stuff - can't we play checkers or something?'

'Please excuse my Mom. She's a control freak!'

MAPQUEST FOR DUMMIES: 'Okay...let's see... 1.) Put on pants. 2.) Put on shoes. 3.) Pick up luggage. 4.) Step out of door.'