Cheating Chucklers Pillows

Servant Painting Targets Around Arrows Shot by a King

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

Jesus Christ

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'I worked briefly in a Fine-China shop, but it didn't work out...'

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

Fisherman buying fish on the way home...!

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'Bless you!'

'Yes, I did receive your resume. As a matter of fact, I'm passing it around the office as we speak.'

Man tries to shake clinging dog off his leg. Dog says to another dog: 'I suppose you could say I'm a people person.'

'Time's up, chuckles.'

'Let's put it this way, part of you was offside!'

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

"Actually, I got my nickname because I live in a loft."

An idle lap is the devil's workbench.

Thank God for the misfits and dregs of society!

"There's only one of them roaming around now. The others are in self-isolation."

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"