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Jerry Springer Spaniel

Graham Norton

Oprah Winfrey

The End of the Piers Show

"Well, Clive, what I REALLY want to do it wait on tables."

Michael Parkinson interviews Muhammad Ali

Alan Carr

Conan's revenge

Michael Parkinson.

"Haven't you noticed, Ned, how everyone's films are getting shallower except mine."

"Apparently Dave has given up on winning the ratings war. He's switched to clip-on ties."

Retired Talk Show Host.

Rat interviewed on a Sports Chatshow.

Books recommended by Oprah and Howard Stern.

Conan O'Brien

'Please welcome next . . .'

"You're right, because caring and love are measured only by now much loot people give you."

Moses on the web

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"Sorry, that's not my table."

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

Senior Jeopardy!

Vanna White: The Later Years.

Ask Sadie Advice Hour. What's your problem?! I don't want to vaccinate my kids. But my husband does. What do I do? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Mother Cohen and Father Cohen were arguing about vaccinating us kids. Father Cohen accused her of being a pawn of the Illuminati's attempt to use diphtheria to mutate us into ape-people. Mother Cohen accused him of being anti-Darwinian. That's when Father Cohen brought up her illicit fling with Chuck Darwin, and all heck broke loose. Um

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

LATE NIGHT WITH DAVID MAMET

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.

"I wanted a partner... I got a co-host."

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."

Jerry Springer of biblical times.