Chat Show Enthusiast T-Shirts

Radio phone-in

"I was just talking to Charlie Rose in my head."

"Both the movie and I will be released this summer."

'The boy who plugged the dyke'

Tomb of the Unknown Talk Show Host

'No appointments are available for the next three months, but you can always call in to the doctor's talk show.'

'We disagree on our wedding plans- I want a big church wedding and he wants to get married on Jerry Springer!'

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

'Has Oprah ever been married?'

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

Woman on the phone.

"I wanted a partner... I got a co-host."

Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'

"The real question is whether health care is a basic human right or a bona-fide commercial opportunity."

'Now stay tuned for 'Hope - Myth or Reality', to be followed by 'Reality - Hope or Myth'.'

Men discussing a book on a chat show

Rudy Park Enterprises regrets to announce the end to a brief experiment aimed at combining the popular and irrepressible talk show phenomenon Sadie Cohen with a background beat of powerful and thrilling house music. In fact, our ratings soared during our experiment. Revenue shot up 17.5 percent. Advertisers loved it. Our decision to cancel the experiment in no way reflects any error of management. Rather, it was a raging success reflective of our forward thinking management. In the end, though,

"Dad, will you play judge and tell me if Raymond or Joey is the father of my baby doll?"

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

Boys and Girls: Differences in Internet Surfing.

Night Life: L.A.

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

Dr. Kapuchnik, I notice that you've been quoting Dr. Phil a lot lately. That's because I'm hoping that if he sees me sucking up to him in the comics, he'll bankroll the TV-show proposal I sent to his production company, Gasbag Enterprises.

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

Jerry Springer

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am 62 years old and was fired from my job of 22 years just before xmas 2010. What should I do? Sincerely, Irene. Attack! Stop! Enough, Sadie. Haven't you been listening? The mean-spirited, virulent partisanship of talk show hosts must end. People were hurt and some died. Aren't you the ultimate partisan, you coot? That's different lady! Fasten your seatbelts.

"I've seen your latest project and I must say, it really stinks. I mean, it is utterly putrid. It totally reeks."

Talkshow Scheduling Dept. I scheduled a guest how a book advocating a strong military position. You booked a hawk who's hawking a book!